Not a Catch Up

So, I just reviewed the blog and saw that it has been almost a full two years since I posted on this thing. Clearly, my priorities were elsewhere, such as: having another baby, moving twice, dealing with two toddlers, and generally just living life. I do miss the outlet that this gave me and I want a place that all my crazy ideas, thoughts, and pictures can live.

I have been contemplating what I want this place to look like and it has evolved a little bit, I want to show my life in a very honest way. Becoming a mother has really changed me to see that we are all crazy, there is no perfect, and we are all really trying our best. I saw a quote that basically said that you feel like you are always falling short and there is this other mom or person you think has all their shit together but they really don't and yet someone else looks at you and thinks you are the perfect mo-fo you want to be.

Much of my life, I have envisioned this perfect life where my family is always happy, beautiful, we have stress less parties, play dates that are always fun, have time to work out and actually lose that baby weight, go on date nights, have fun family time, be creative, and generally have a beautiful and flawless existence. Let's be real here, being the parent of two small children is not at all glamorous or even fun most of the time.

• My kids are adorable (I'm their mother and I will always think they are the cutest things alive), but not so much when they are covered in mud, touching their poop, fighting, or having temper tantrums because you didn't let them open and close the freezer door while you were trying to cobble dinner together. 
• I love having parties and hosting people, it is almost like it is in my DNA, buuuuuuut, I am a crazy stress bitch in the hour or so leading up to people arriving. This of course places tension and weirdness with B and I so we have to fake happy for the first 30 minutes or so until I relax. I'm trying to get better but I still get cray. 
• Most play dates are me and the other moms trying to get a sentence out before being interrupted and then we forget our train of thought as a toddler flys past us, trying to get into the kitchen at Chik-Fil-A (I fricken' love that place). The kids are crazy and ultimately, one of the children (tyrants) want their mama and one of us always is out of the adult time we so desperately need. 
• Work out time, ahhhh, a mom's love and hate time. We hate our squishy bodies but love the reason our bellies are hamburger. Couple that with lack of sleep, low energy, and wanting to eat my stress of crazay kids, working out is hard. When I actually slap those workout pants and sports bra, my preschooler is constantly asking if I'm done, getting in my way so I accidentally punch or kick her in the face, and generally being more of a pain in my ass than the glute workout I'm doing. 
• Date nights, man, I wish we had them. Until Addy was weaned, date nights were totally off the table. I was "lucky?" that neither of my girls wanted a bottle so they were solely breastfed so I was always needing to be there for them, not me, just my boobs, and dammit, those things are stuck on me. Now that we are free from titty juice, we cannot find a babysitter to save our lives. And then when we do, the cost of the babysitter makes us not want to be out too long so we are rushing to "connect". Someday kids, someday... Actually, last week, we discovered a great alternative, we did an at-home date: put the girls down early, ordered sushi and picked up, bought some sake, lit some candles and sat in the dining room. It was AWESOME and I highly suggest it to other parents or couples.
• Family fun time is always a ticking clock, when is the bomb of child meltdown going to occur?! We have learned that we only get about an hour max out of both kids and we have to be strategic about timing. Breakfast is perfect for playdates and early dinner is best. Seriously, you want to arrive before the old folks home bus parks with kids!
• Creativity is something that has always been a huge part of my life, being the kid of two artistics will do that. Now my creativity is channeled into toddler crafts, a far cry from my former glory days. I will say that this has stretched my horizons though, if anyone likes crafts for their kids, I will do tutorials.

Overall, life is crazy, frustrating, and absolutely beautiful, as long as there is coffee in the morning and a glass of wine at the end of the day! I want to make this place more about the small things of life that make up a big picture.